The Swiss Alps

 When Matt was dreaming about a destination backpacking trip for his 40th birthday he had kept this hut and hike trip in Italy out of his Backpacker Magazine. (One of his favorite pieces of literature to read). As the time to make reservations and plans began to approach he changed his mind and dreamed of Switzerland. Both places where exciting to me and really sat on the shelf in my mind thinking we would not be able to go. Matt invited friends to make the journey with us and being as we, all have families and no idle money to devote to travel, no one could join us. Matt decided to work extra hours and make this dream of his come to life. It was a decision of the deck or travel. I always vote for travel, but did not pressure at all and he chose to travel for his birthday. With three months to plan I became the Murphy travel office and got things all lined up.

It was very difficult to plan a backpacking trip to Switzerland as A: I have never been to Switzerland, B: I have never done more than one night of Backpacking and C: I do not speak French or Swiss German. With my adventurous spirit and the excitement of international travel I plowed ahead. Most of my summer has been researching backpacking gear that I needed, mapping out and booking huts and travel and training for our hike. We knew our trip would be about 50 miles of hiking and also knowing I had recently given birth to a new little boy; weight loss and preparations were required. I also spent a great deal of time preparing those who would have my children with schedules and details and a newly written will. yikes! Preparation is key.

We had so many doors that God opened for us to take this trip by providing money through an extra job, at the last minute a travel agent helping us get some tickets and contacting the man who wrote and mapped out our trip in the alps all paved the way for our journey.

As with all journeys there are windfalls and hiccups. I will enjoy describing both.

I could probably write a book with the details and information that I would love to share. I approached the computer tonight with a mind gushing full of excitement and stories I wanted to share.

Switzerland is just amazingly beautiful. The best way to describe it is to imagine a storybook setting. Imagine Heidi. In fact we meet a couple that live in the town that the story Heidi came from. You will see some of the beauty in our photos but being surrounded by the alps is such a once in a lifetime experience.

Flew out of Louisville, KY on Sunday, September 7th at 2:45p
   We caught a ride to the airport with a good friend and left our children with continual "one last hugs". This was going to be a long trip. Only a 1hour lay over in Washington D.C. then over the ocean to Geneva and arriving at 8am. The flight was only 9 hours but we were also flying into the future as they are 6 hours ahead of us. So our time was actually 2am arrival. I pushed for us to continue our day if we were to acclimate to this new time.

Taking the train to the other side of Geneva Lake we made stops at Vevey and Castle Chillion in Montroux.

Lake Geneva was beautiful and very cold. I saw this guy swimming by and thought I wonder what the water feels like here. I think my toe turned to ice the instant I touched the water.

 I had so looked forward to having Matt all to myself this trip, I have to share him with four little ones now, not to mention his phone. No distractions here in Switzerland. Here is the happy couple.

Here is Matt's pack weighing in at 38 pounds and my smaller blue pack weighing in at 17 pounds for the pack and 2 pounds for my camera bag in the front.
(Just think I have lost 17 pounds in the inform class this summer! So you can visualize the weight I lost. Crazy) Since this was a backpacking trip there was no place to leave your bag. We carried these packs for 9 days everywhere we went.

 This was definitely the walkers path here by the lake. We were ment to find this little market that Vevey was known for, but they were closed on Monday. So we found a lunch spot and had pizza by the lake. Then trained over to the castle stop.

Charlie Chaplain and Audrey Hepburn both had homes along Lake Geneva. Here was  a little rose garden in Charlie's honor.

Matt is messing with his fancy hiker's watch he bought for the trip. This would map out our path and mark our way points and keep track of miles. Also a compass in case of our need for mapping issues.

 The flowers on the path to the Castle were gorgeous and well kept. Behind Matt's head is our hiking destination for the castle. Both of us were wearing down and getting tired of walking already. Not very much sleep was to be had on the plane and just plowing through our sleepiness to enjoy our new adventure.

 This castle was built in medieval times; whoever lived in the castle were the ruling principalities of that time. Even Lord Byron was there and wrote a famous poem about a prisoner there.

We decided to get ourselves on the train and get to our hotel for the night in St. Luc. Our starting place for the trail the next day. It was God again who gave us this nudge because we ended up catching the last bus our of Sierre to St. Luc that night. Again, I am not the professional travel agent and we didn't have bus schedules or train times laid out for us. I had not micro planned our trip in that kind of detail. but we were to know that later on our trip.

The bus ride up the mountain from Sierre to St. Luc was incredible! I could not believe the steep ascent that we were to make. I watched behind the drivers seat in a Swiss tarc bus as the town of Sierre in the valley became smaller and hidden while we climbed the switch back road up the side of the mountain to this storybook village. Matt had fallen asleep on the bus and I sat wide eyed at many points and closed eyes praying at others. The bus would swing wide toward the cliff to make its long body turn on the hairpin curve as I would gasp in disbelief. Guardrails were minimal to nonexistent and the road itself was not wide enough for more than the bus we were on. Many points other vehicles waited on wide random shoulders while the bus continued on. I couldn't imagine riding this route up and down the mountain everyday as workers and students around me do. I was telling Matt of the picturesque path and views he missed. The sun was setting and we were ready to sleep.

One more small connection to climb to our small village and then a short two block walk to our glowing hotel. We had gotten a bite waiting for the bus in Sierre, so a hot chocolate and coffee was on our mind before shut eye.

End of Day 1

Glimpsing the light from under the rock

I was able to catch up on reading my favorite blogs and although I didn't comment on many it has got me itching to come up for air and be out in the world amongst people. 

When you are at home with little people all day for five months you get antsy to do things in your former life. You know the cliche that you can't go pee by yourself and you need adult time. All these ideas came out of real life. 

I don't even know how far back to go when I say my "former life". This could be December before little Blake was born and I had only 3 children. It could be back before I had more than 2 diapers to change at one time. It could be back before baby girl and 20 pounds ago. Or we could reach way back and think in some type of dreamy haze when I didn't have any little people to chase and had the entire day to do as I please. 

Whether you compare life with a new baby (your first or your fourth) it does feel like you go through a period of living under a rock or trying to catch a breath of air after drowning. 

I have had so many waves of emotions these last few months. I am a pretty even keel type of gal and don't give into my feelings often. Yet with intensity of feeling, you experience life in a very grabbing way. I have had such joy loving my four children. They grow so fast. I have had days utterly exhausted , beyond what I thought humanly possible. I have laughed so hard with my kids over all kinds of funny things that I have literally peed my pants (this is easily done after four babies). I have also felt very alone here at the house days on end. I have been depressed, low in my spirit and crawled to Jesus to get aid and strength of purpose. I have made friends to see them walk away and not seem to care to reach out to me yet others surprise me with love and friendship. Above all God is my personal God. I cannot express how this just resonates with my core. He is what I need every time,  at all times. I cannot be enough for everyone who needs me and depend on me but he always says "I've got it Mel, don't worry about that , you are enough for me. I love you" and It is well with my soul again. love my family and my Savior. 

I have so much to blog about over the last five months. Highlights to come soon.

No promises made here but hopefully you will see more of me now that life is getting into a new groove. 

Birth Reflections

Only one of my children have a birth mark. Aiden has a light brown oval spot on his right side. 

However, Blake had this spot on his right foot. It looks like a cigarette burn on the skin. The doctor didn't know what is was, but it is healing and fading very slowly.

God had given us this treasure of family, but I need to remember they are His. I give God my family. After all He loves them more than I could. Going through a situation where things do not turn out like you think they will reminds you of that.

Some people have made comments or asked questions of Matt about our home birth in such a way that made him question if our decision is to blame for the trouble we had. Should we have made better choices? Was there someone to blame? Us frail humans want someone to blame don't we?
I thank God for the choices we have made through this entire process. God led us to a home birth with our specific midwife. You know a home birth was not even an option at the beginning of my pregnancy. My mother birthed my youngest two siblings at home and has suggested it to us, but I didn't want to. You need to feel compelled to do something like this and prepare for it. So the concept was not foreign to me. The only way I even considered it was because Aiden was such a fast delivery.
From start to finish Aiden was born in five hours and the drive to the hospital was horrible.

There were some factors about my birth and hospital delivery that pushed me to look for another place to deliver and after watching my sister give birth, being an objective observer, that pushed me to really consider a home birth. Also the fact that my nurse midwife at Floyd had delivered at home with her last baby I knew there was something to it. God kept pointing me in this direction. I kept meeting people that had chosen a home birth and ironically all of them were in the medical field. So I know they had quite a bit more information to make this informed choice.

We had a good pregnancy and I am convinced that if we had delivered at a hospital they would have pushed us into a c-section delivery. This is not the delivery I wanted. I know that I would have caved at the hospital and asked for drugs, that would have lead to me not being able to push Blake out, that would have lead to him getting stuck or us rushing to a c-section. God had this.

I did not tear in delivery, Blake was able to be delivered naturally, no shoulder distotia. There was nothing we could have done differently to have my placenta cooperate. There was no reason why it didn't release. No one was at blame for Blake getting pneumonia. God knows he was squeezed through the birth canal, so how could he have breathed in fluid and get an infection in his lungs. I don't know why these things happened, but there is no blame. We live a fragile life and things happen.

I am so thankful that the people surrounding me knew the right things to do at the right time. We live right next to the hospital. Our care was timely and ready at a short notice. I have had quite the experience and such a story to tell. Even now looking back there is nothing I would have done differently. I would still have a home birth had I to do it all over again.

Perhaps a more conscious effort to walk everyday and eat a few more salads would have been better choices but God is good and takes care of us always.

 My baby is beyond perfect and the dimple I found on his cheek has been probably worn there by my kissing his irresistible soft cheek. I love to talk about my experience and my baby ask us questions anytime. :)

Blood is Our Lifeline

Saturday morning I woke up feeling refreshed and so good. I thought I was ready to start the day and called the nurse to see about taking a shower and then I sat up.....

Oh that was bad. I physically crashed, my peripheral vision was blurry I was very dizzy and wanted to pass out. My blood count was very low. There was such an issue with them trying to take the blood so they could check my blood count. In fact the nurse had come in Friday night with an ultrasound machine to try and find my veins to draw the blood. My right arm has no veins to stick. They are very thin and very far under the surface of the skin. No wonder I had needles. No one can get a successful stick. Only my left arm cooperates. So thankful they did not take out that IV line. Dr. came in for his morning rounds and confirmed that I needed blood. 2 liters and a transfusion seems so scary but that is what I needed.

Blood = Life  This puts me in mind of the blood of Christ

We can only have life eternal with accepting how Christ sacrificed and gave his blood for our sins by asking for forgiveness.

It took 5 hours!!! to get that much blood through my IV. But my reward at the end was to get to be wheeled by wheel chair to the nursery to see and hold Blake. Wow! He is so heavy on my sore belly.

Going through labor your body automatically generates extra blood because you loose about 1 unit during delivery, but since I was hemorrhaging blood the entire time I had the placenta still attached I had lost too much. They had tried to get my body back to health by giving me all the extra fluids over night but that was not going to be enough to help my body regenerate all I had lost. During the day I thought about the pioneer women and others who would have had a home birth and not the resource of a hospital to help, Would I have died in child birth? If I had not been able to have the blood transfusion my body would have needed 90 days to create enough new blood to replace what was lost. I am so thankful for having a hospital to go to when needed.

Matt was a sweetheart and went home to make me my favorite popcorn with peanut butter and chili powder, yummo! He also made me a virgin pina colada and brought them back to me in the hospital. What a man!

I had spent the whole day literally in bed. It was so needed. I had two visitors but needed the rest. I must have looked bad because everyone kept saying how pale and white I looked. Matt had stayed with me all day. I know it just kills him to sit in a room all day but he was right there. While receiving the blood I was not to move. Matt was my bedpan buddy. You know you are loved when someone takes care of you like that. Through thick and thin right?

Grandma Murphy with Blake

Excited big brother visiting during his snow day. Hospitals are not great places for kids to visit. So the kids enjoyed thier time with Nana this week at home.

Sunday I was a brand new person. I got up and took a shower, washed my hair! Oh that feels so good. Remember I delivered Friday morning and have not been out of bed since.

I walked out to hold Blake and the Doctor and nurses saw me and literally took a double take. They couldn't believe how much better I looked. Almost to the point that they didn't recognize me. Lots of family and friends came by after church and the rest of the afternoon.

I ended up going home late that night. Matt really wanted to watch the football playoffs. His Broncos were in it and won. They beat the Patriots, a pretty big deal. Go Peyton Manning!

It was so nice to be home but I had a hard time leaving this precious boy.

I returned to be with Blake and start nursing. I had been pumping but nothing yet. Blake is still taking oxygen and breathing very rapidly and unsteady. Also had a feeding tube while on the oxygen. I was with Blake all day in the nursery holding him whenever I could. Having him skin to skin is so important both for Blake's health and for my milk to come in. All week was a battle to get my milk in because I had lost so much fluid and blood my body was fighting to regenerate all of what I needed as well as getting a start on trying to produce milk. Blake's health steadily improved with me there holding him and talking to him. He came off the feeding tube by the end of the day.

Tuesday Blake was in the room with me all day! They let me stay at the hospital with Blake and while no one needed the room I could stay right next to the nursery. Another praise is that my milk is starting to come in. They take him back to the nursery two times a day for his shot of antibiotics and I am able to nurse him first and then supplement with a bottle.
Corbin had a snow day today and he and Matt came to see us.

So tired of being in the hospital and went home to have dinner with the family tonight. And of course the kids just wanted to sit with Matt . I was not missed at all. Nana has been with them this week and it is almost like a vacation for them.

Wednesday was such a good day. Blake is so happy and content. He was circumcised  today and that made him grumpy, then he slept for five hours. Called Lydia to come keep me company. We made footprints of Blake in his baby book. Michelle came by and brought a blizzard what a precious friend.

This week a friend from church passed away. Al Rudolph has been fighting cancer and he went home to heaven this week. So many people have been touched by his life and will miss him. I will go to his viewing Thursday.

Thursday Blake is ready to come home, however we are required to stay in the hospital till all of his antibiotics have continued for seven days. We were able to go home after his midnight shot Friday night.

Through the bitter cold I took my precious baby home. With living right next to the hospital Matt and kids were home and Blake and I came home to a quite and peaceful home at last.

After all this that we have been though I am doing great but my answer is I'm tired. It will take a long time for my iron and energy to build back up.

Funny, usually after a birth discharge they recommend that you not pick up anything that weighs more than 10 pounds but in my case nothing more than Blake. :)

God is so good and He takes care of us.
Final thought on the birth next post.

Mama of Four

It is taking a long time to realize that I am a new mom again and not just a new mom but a mom of four! My heart is so full.

They come back to my room and tell that Blake has pneumonia (infection in his lungs). Now they keep him full time in the nursery and try to get an IV in him to start antibiotics.

My chubby baby is a hard stick like me and they did get one Saturday morning. When Doctor Pittman our pediatrician came in and explained about Blake I just cried. The whole day had caught up with me and I needed a good cry. Everyone left and Matt and I had some time alone.

Matt and I got to talk and process through our whole day. Poor Matt, I couldn't imagine watching my spouse go through all those things today! Or even my mom--seeing her daughter experience that pain.

Above all things today there was a sense of joy and love not fear. As this birth approached I would have fear creep into my spirit. Fear of the natural birth that we had planned and fear of what we didn't know to happen. But I had been praying for God to take that spirit of fear away. Perfect love drives out fear. The Lord helped me to claim these scripture verses; Isaiah 41:10, Psalms 56:3-4, Proverbs 3:24-26, Isaiah 26:3-4, Matthew 11:28-30, Philippians 4:13, Isaiah 40:29-31, John 16:21-24, Jeremiah 32:27

Also Michelle had made me a worship cd that helped me. Love the song "Oceans" by Hillsong United.

So when all of these obstacles to our birth story happened my heart was resting in Jesus. That is the only way I was able to make it through these very difficult day and week ahead.

Matt left at 9p. Living right next to the hospital was super nice. I was looking forward to a night of rest,not being able to sleep all day. Remember I had awoke at 1am with labor pains. Super long day. Walked in to kiss little man before bed. Have to tell you I barely made it. Very woozy.

They also had to give Blake oxygen. His breath was very shallow and fast. They needed him to stabilize and breath slow and deep.

Spurts of rest. Kept dreaming about labor and delivery. The machines kept beeping and they continued to put in IV fluids all night. Had asked about getting IV out of my arm. My arm was so swollen and sore but after having such a hard time giving blood decided to leave in just in case I needed something. So glad I did....

Saturday was a surprise. Next post

Our Home Birth

January 17th Friday Morning at 10:04 am

Blake Matthew Murphy was born

Here is our amazing birth story-

January 2nd I was 2 cm dilated, on the 9th we were raring to go. Surely this baby will be born any day, but wanted a nudge for sure. Aundria did a stretch and sweep and I am at a full 4 cm. Can't be walking around like that long right? That next night I had lost some of my plug and had the shakes really bad (which are hormones kicking in gear) we sent the kids to spend the night with my friend because this is surely the day. Nope.... false alarm. The 16th we did another stretch and sweep. I am at 5 cm. After each of these days I feel very crampy and super tired.

At this point I can't believe I am already at 5 cm. The labor ahead must be super fast. Every night I was ready to wake up to labor pains and begin labor. All of my babies have been over due by two weeks, I really didn't think I would make it to my due date this time with how big I was, but here we are 41 weeks.

Thursday night the 16th went to bed but woke up at 1:12am with first contractions. Contractions scattered about 20-35 minutes apart and only 30 seconds long. Called Aundria Radmacher my midwife to let her know what was going on with me and Holly W. who is going to be my birth coach. Mentally preparing myself for the night ahead. I took a warm shower and woke Matt up. Holly was there when I got out. Called Aundria to come and my mother. Aundria brought a back up midwife to assist her (Jenna). 

Labor was steady, Holly was wonderful about praying and quoting scriptures, night faded into morning and it seemed like things were progressing so very slowly.

It felt better to labor sitting on the ball or standing up or sitting in the bathroom. Day light showed snow had beautifully fallen. In fact Corbin had a snow day from school. My planned childcare fell through this morning and the kids were with Sherri W. Praise Jesus for the church family that jumps in there when you have a need.

Matt and the ladies had been in and out checking on me; Holly never left my side. I really needed her. Just her presence and knowing she was praying and there to rub soar muscles. By 7am it didn't seem like labor was progressing as fast as I thought it was going to be. With Aiden we were in labor from start to finish 5 hours. This time I was already at 5 cm to begin with and now it has been 6 hours and no pushing contractions. 

My sciatic nerve especially in my back and right leg were in so much pain and no position was giving any relief. Alundria rubbed my leg and back several times.

Aundria monitored Blake's heartbeat constantly after checking me and we were still sitting at 9 cm and cervix just wasn't getting up over his head. I laid down in bed and she broke my water and now contractions really started to hit at a much harder intensity. The surprising part was that even with these hard contractions I still was not feeling the pushing contractions.

Again laying down on the bed was terribly painful on my back and right leg. I went to sit in the bathroom again and was so beyond continuing this labor. Holly asked if I could push with the next contraction and I just held onto this idea like a life line. I was very much ready to push this baby out. I was so tired. So that's what we did in the bathroom. I didn't want to move back to the bed. So I balled up, chin down and pushed with everything I had. Such pain.

I did this a few times and then went down on hands and knees. Here came Blake! Matt said the ladies looked at each other like can you believe how big he head is? When I delivered Blake completely I was on the floor on my back. Once his shoulders were born he came out very quickly. I am so glad the ladies didn't say anything about how big Blake's head was.

Blake's face was dark plumb/ almost black and non reactive. The ladies worked on him and he did cry and breath. I was too overwhelmed with finishing my part of this birth to be afraid for Blake. It was so fast but there was definent concern for his limp and not breathing response. 

Miracle beyond belief is that I didn't tear. Everything stretched to allow Blake to pass through. A few attempts to push out the placenta and the energy of the room turned to worry over me.They got me off the bathroom floor and we went to lay down on the bed.

The ladies pushed on my belly gave me two shots of pitocin, Blake nursed. All the things that would cause the placenta to release and push out but it wasn't coming. Now it had been a half hour and no success. Aundria called 911 and EMS came to take Blake and I to the hospital. I was loosing too much blood (hemorrhaging). When EMS came I had already lost 1,000cc's of blood. I felt like I would pass out. Everyone kept saying I was pale as a sheet. EMT's put in the IV and gave me at least 2 bags of fluid and put me on an oxygen mask. 

I had asked what was going to happen when we got to the hospital. What are the options? Everyone was in and out preparing to leave and I was beginning to need emotional support. I needed Matt. He was with me when we loaded up in the ambulance. We decided to have Blake admitted with me in the hospital and he was getting him taken care of.

The EMT's used this tarp with handles to bring me from my bed to the gurney at the bottom of the steps. Two big guys had me and the EMT boss had Blake. I was very faint and not really sure what to think about all that was going on. Pain and fear were starting to build. I trusted God to be with me and that everyone was doing the right thing but afraid of how much more pain was ahead with the placenta and why it wasn't coming out? I was not very aware of my surroundings.... yes you see the lights blurring above you down the hospital hall just like the TV shows represent. While they wheel you to your room.

We get to the labor and delivery ward and the doctor on call treated me. I immediately asked for pain medication but he was not going to give anything till he had asked me questions. With each response the doctor became more and more serious and focused. Matt was by my side the entire time. I could see he was very worried. How old are you? How many pregnancies? Is the placenta planted in the front? Have you had a c-section before? We don't know why the placenta won't release but he was going to manually remove it. There was not time for pain meds only time for action. If that doesn't work we will go to the Operating Room and see about removing it surgically. The worst case here is if the placenta has grown into my  c-section scar. They would have to perform a hysterectomy if that were the case. Prayers and tears were flowing. 

He tries right away, lots of pain a big gush and out it all comes. Another check and sweep to see if it has all come and yes it is done. Praise Jesus! Very mangled placenta he says. I guess we will not do a placenta print. :)

The whole time my mom is with Blake. They are checking him out. His sugars are a bit out of wack and I hear everyone ask if I or he has gestational diabetes because he is so big.  Everyone is in my room-- IV heart beat monitor and blood pressure cuff are all on my arms. Relief and praise is in the air. WE MADE IT! The baby is here....everyone is stable.

Blake Matthew Murphy

10:04am 

Friday, January 17th 2014

11 pounds 5 ounces 23 inches 

My precious baby!

Carolyn was so sweet standing right by me and feeding me ice chips. My mouth was so so dry and I couldn't have anything till antibiotic and fluids went in. So about 90 more minutes.

Blake came in the room everyone oohed and awwwed. My back and belly, chest and legs, everything hurt and was so sore. Plus all the stuff on my arms hurt so bad I didn't want to hold Blake's weight yet.
Blake's blond fuzzy hair was very pronounced against his red skin. Such big cheeks. Matt nicknamed him pork chop. I stuck for the rest of our hospital stay.

So EMS came at house around 11a, Hospital at 12noon. I think I nursed him around 2:30p Nursed very well. Still at this point a bit oblivious to what's going on. Later told I lost 40% of my blood. (2 liters)

Before I fed him the second time (around 5p) they wanted to do another blood sugar test on Blake. They were gone over an hour. Something was wrong. Blake had choked up a lot of amniotic fluid and the found fluid in his lungs.

More on next post....