It is taking a long time to realize that I am a new mom again and not just a new mom but a mom of four! My heart is so full.
They come back to my room and tell that Blake has pneumonia (infection in his lungs). Now they keep him full time in the nursery and try to get an IV in him to start antibiotics.
My chubby baby is a hard stick like me and they did get one Saturday morning. When Doctor Pittman our pediatrician came in and explained about Blake I just cried. The whole day had caught up with me and I needed a good cry. Everyone left and Matt and I had some time alone.
Matt and I got to talk and process through our whole day. Poor Matt, I couldn't imagine watching my spouse go through all those things today! Or even my mom--seeing her daughter experience that pain.
Above all things today there was a sense of joy and love not fear. As this birth approached I would have fear creep into my spirit. Fear of the natural birth that we had planned and fear of what we didn't know to happen. But I had been praying for God to take that spirit of fear away. Perfect love drives out fear. The Lord helped me to claim these scripture verses; Isaiah 41:10, Psalms 56:3-4, Proverbs 3:24-26, Isaiah 26:3-4, Matthew 11:28-30, Philippians 4:13, Isaiah 40:29-31, John 16:21-24, Jeremiah 32:27
Also Michelle had made me a worship cd that helped me. Love the song "Oceans" by Hillsong United.
So when all of these obstacles to our birth story happened my heart was resting in Jesus. That is the only way I was able to make it through these very difficult day and week ahead.
Matt left at 9p. Living right next to the hospital was super nice. I was looking forward to a night of rest,not being able to sleep all day. Remember I had awoke at 1am with labor pains. Super long day. Walked in to kiss little man before bed. Have to tell you I barely made it. Very woozy.
They also had to give Blake oxygen. His breath was very shallow and fast. They needed him to stabilize and breath slow and deep.
Spurts of rest. Kept dreaming about labor and delivery. The machines kept beeping and they continued to put in IV fluids all night. Had asked about getting IV out of my arm. My arm was so swollen and sore but after having such a hard time giving blood decided to leave in just in case I needed something. So glad I did....
3 comments:
I'm loving these posts. Hate that you had to go through all of this, but I know that the outcome is okay, so I will just dwell there.
What a scary ride for you all! My your little guy looks SO big in those pics!
Question - was this your first home birth? If so-what made you decide to do it this time?
Your posts are so sweet, so filled with love. :)
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